The Circus of Life

Chimpanzee, KP

When I look at the chimpanzee I drew in a creative minute last night, I imagine him in a zoo or in an arena, watching and imagining things he could do outside of it. And it strikes me that I sometimes feel exactly like this chimpanzee. Isn´t life a circus? We practice our show from childhood on. Some get very good at it and believe themselves that their show is their life. But sometimes it´s really about finding a tree to climb on and enjoy to misbehave and be wild.

Time flies

There is this one thing that is bothering me recently. I begin to perceive three months as a really short time before a deadline or some other event. Earlier in my life it was like "Oh, that´s in November, that´s so far away. It´s only August." Now it´s more sounding like "Oh gosh, November, that´s really close."

I´ve started to realize that I can´t live without my planner anymore. Appointments are made on the long run and my friends are usually booked out three months ahead. 

I don´t want to live like that. I don´t want my life to be a series of appointments. How should I know in August if I want to go out for dinner with friends on the 16th of November? Isn´t it a pity that spending time with your friends becomes an obligation in your planner? I tried to make my appointments spontaneously - and there is very few people whom that works with. So you get to decide - either enter the appointment mill or see only very few of your friends. Entering the mill with only one leg works for now. We will see how it goes later in life, when we all have a family with children, pets and a garden. I believe, it is important to stay spontaneous in every stage of life. And I´m pretty sure that this is possible - at least I will try to resist the planner for my private life a bit more. 

But let´s get back to the title of this post. I was shocked how fast weeks flew by the past few months, just because they were unbelievably packed with obligations and events. It was certainly exciting, but I wondered when I will every get the time to stand still for a moment again. To just sit and listen to my own thoughts. I know I need that, but there´s always something to do and somewhere to go and as I´m a curious person, I can´t resist the temptation. As Oscar Wilde says "Temptation is the one thing I cannot resist." How to find the balance between the exciting life and an inner peace?

Mind in chaos on a summer night

What is wrong with us humans? Why do we understand when it´s too late. We work, work and work. We work until we collapse. And we are said to be smarter than ants. I am not so sure about that. Some are, yes. They end up being crushed by the others.
Why does it take tragedies to make us understand what happiness is? To remember what life is. No one will remember the things he bought on his deathbed. A life consisting of shopping and business is sad and empty. In the end there will be nothing left worth remembering and being happy about. Nothing making you think "Yes, my life was fulfilling and I can let go. And I have given the people I leave behind enough love to let them remember me with a warm feeling." And that is the real tragedy. And the greatest misfortune.

Sometimes, just sometimes, we encounter people, who inspire us to live life as we should - to the fullest. These people are rare. And sometimes they are so far from people who are, or pretend to be, flawless. Who have the highest recommendations of society. Hardly anyone would trust a homeless person. But maybe that homeless person would give his life for someone. Do we know what led to his situation? No. But we judge. We judge as soon as we lay an eye on him. "Look at the man over there, honey, who never did anything valuable in his life. Never end up like him." But maybe he was betrayed. Maybe he lost everything.
We see a disabled person and feel compassion right away. Not noticing that this disabled person does not need our compassion, he needs to be treated like everyone else, to joke around and to live. And we do not realise that maybe this homeless person looks at a sunbeam and feels more joy than we did the whole last week. And the disabled person has a strength we will never gain.

There is so much more than what we can see with our eyes. And what is invisible to our eye is mostly what it´s worth living for. As the little prince says - what is essential is invisible to the eye.